about peru

today is a new day
reaching into what was old
searching through pages i’ve looked at before
trying to understand it all
and knowing i’ll never get there

April 29, 2007

The moon is so bright tonight that it’s hard to see the stars in the clear sky. I’m writing this with no light but the moon. It’s almost full…

Dispersed clouds are moving in illuminated white against the nearly black sky with a tint of blue. Lying down and looking up and back a bit it looks like the clouds are going to swoop down and consume me, as though they may actually be floating closer and closer to the ground. Maybe they want to carry me off. I wouldn’t mind that.

The moon is hidden now, but its light still fractures through the clouds making a web of white light. I feel as though I should expect a dazzling and majestic figure to appear from. Perhaps the moon is simple resting on the clouds.

I am lying in the middle of the field surrounded by some of the academic buildings trying to blend in with the grass, but the moon won’t let me. I can feel the cool night wind lightly brushing against me now and then, kind of lulling me to sleep like a mother with her child. It even seems to whisper to me “good night.”

I wrote this on April 28th at a cheap hotel in Louisville, Kentucky:

 

::  I’m watching the sun rise from the second floor of the hotel just outside the door.  It’s sitting near the horizon like a smoldering coal right now (and I know that’s kind of a puny description for something so huge).  It’s getting brighter and bigger, orange with a pink haze around it.  It’s hiding behind some trees, but I can definitely see it glowing.

I’m glad I get to see it. 

The water in the tiny creek nearby is rippling as thought the rays were tickling its surface.  There’s no wind. 

Birds are singing as the sky gets bluer, covered mostly by purple clouds.  I wonder why birds seem to sing more in the morning and evening than during the day, or maybe those are just the times many people notice them.  Some birds seem to have loud, sudden blasts of chirp every few seconds while others have a stretch of consistent twittering that seems to float more in the air.  I like that one the best.

[moments go by]

Now the dark mass of cloud has become gray and they’re tearing open above me, really, like a piece of fluffy paper.  The tear is making its way straight towards the sun, which is covered by the gray, fluffy sheet.  The clouds are a bright and beautiful white where they’ve been torn.

Random: there’s a hot air balloon floating on my right 

The sun now seems to be hidden behind a small island of cloud, its rays pouring from the edges.  It almost looks like the cloud is on fire.  Soon the sun will burst forth. 

The surface of the creek that once rippled is now frozen like someone waiting in wonder and expectation right before that time in the movie when they’ll feel the warm, sudden tingle that moves from the inside out.

Here comes the sun.  ::

here’s what I wrote tonight as I walked the campus:

 

 

:: tonight the clouds are like a looming shadow in the sky,

                                     or a monster with the desire to consume the stars.

the moon is orange above the horizon, hazy, like a dream.  the sky is a blue between light and dark.  it’s deep.  ::

 

 

i’ve had a lot of random thoughts like that, which is why i love may term.  i can take time to just sit and wander and wonder.  it’s a beautiful thing…  [sigh]  …  

                                                when i think…i sigh            i t ‘ s       r  e  l a  x i  n  g

how do I feel right now?

I feel something in my stomach,

       like when my friend touched me the other day when she said “hi” (she surprised me)
    (I caught my breath for a second…   …  hmmm  …  think about that.  catching your breath…
                                                                                                              what would that look like?)
             anyway…she’s a great person and a good friend. 

I’m sitting alone in my living room right now, and I have memories playing through my mind…
                                                                                   …I wish I had someone to share them with.

          actually, I wish I had someone to share this time with, but everyone’s asleep.
       I’d like to talk to someone  [sigh]  all well…off to bed.

Ask yourself today

                         “What do I think about  l i f e  ?”

             then think about it.

shalom

I looked at pictures of one of my friends climbing at the Red River Gorge

         I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff and about to jump off

    I want to go so bad…someday I’ll live at the Red with a friend for a summer or something just for kicks…I’ll work and hike and climb…how awesome would that be

       I can’t sleep right now.  I lied in my bed for an hour and I got bored lying. 

So here I am after eating a snack, wandering the dorm, and working on an application for leading backpacking trips this summer.  I’m going to go to bed now.

shalom

       question you don’t have to answer, but feel free:  what would you do if you could be a bird for a full day and night?

I feel like going on a walk, but I want to go somewhere I have never been…

          maybe a forest trail because that would be more unpredictable…

    I want to be out of the ordinary…

                   dot, dot, dot…

I feel like…

          running…or rather…flying

                            [wishful thinking]

oh how I wish I could fly right now
                                                                           I just want to fly up and away

          into the freedom of the air, above the clouds
                      then perhaps I might drift for a while just relaxing, feeling the warm night air

I might people watch too

                         I would really like that   [sigh]

    do you know what I’m talking about?  I’m sure you do.  [sigh]

a friend of mine just asked me where I would go if I could fly as a bird…

          i told her that I would probably just enjoy flying first

   
    i would perhaps fly above the clouds and enjoy that for some time

                                           then i would eventually fly over the ocean looking for places i’ve never been

i would sit around and observe people
how they interact and what they do

so yeah…that was my answer